


The moth and the flame

by RoseTheQueen



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I want a happy damn ending even if there is angst to get there, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22458973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseTheQueen/pseuds/RoseTheQueen
Summary: 1 year after Dom had bordered a plane to Budapest her life returned to relative normalcy for her. The work remained the same, her life remained the same. Of course, until her aggressively gay weakness happens to rear its end once more.
Relationships: Darlene Alderson/Dominique DiPierro
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

The coffee hit the back of Dom’s throat as it always had; tasting like crap, lukewarm at best, and still somehow a constant she couldn’t bear to remove. Despite everything, the coffee grounded her back in the reality of it all as the 11th hour of a seemingly endless shift rolled around once more.

The 6 months forced leave had allowed her to enjoy herself, yes, but as she had assumed, the lack of structure began to eat away at her until she was counting the days and hours till she could return to the monotony and routine. Her monotony and routine. 

Truthfully, there was no guarantee there ever would be a return, but a not so subtle reminder that she had worked for this bureau for years and ultimately helped bring an end to Whiterose and the dark armies plans helped sway the investigative committee.

Well, not just that. Dom was keen to remind, with true spite, that it was also this bureau that failed to notice the corruption of special agent Santiago, that allowed him to kill dozens and who put Dom in the very position they were investigating her for in the first place.

The threat of such information being released, or even distributed throughout the bureau itself was another thought to give them pause. And besides, as Darlene put it “the motherfucking metric ton” of information on the dark army that was left with Dom certainly secured her way back otherwise.

Despite that, while the routine gave Dom some much-needed safety she had felt restless ever since realizing that while their leader was gone, the Dark army marched on. 

Certainly not at the top of their game, the Dark army still persisted in making life a pain for many, the FBI most certainly after Dom had helped to weed out many of their moles since her return.  
32 to be exact, and she liked to be exact. 32 threats removed and still she felt it was a drop that barely rippled the ocean of a hole that she felt in her life. It was an accomplishment most couldn’t even think of, and for her, it just felt natural.

Truth be told “natural” was incredibly tortured word for her now, she knew there was no returning to normal or anything close after what she had been through. The restless nights before were bad, but at least they hadn’t included the scarred image of your boss with 3, no 4, axe holes in his chest with over half a dozen to still perforate the traitor’s body.

But this is the new normal now. And while new or normal barely apply its what she deals with as she finishes what must be her 3rd coffee and 10 pm hits on the clock.

\-----------

Filling reports for the last mole had been as thrilling as ever but her work didn’t so much stop but pause until the next day as she was called off by her new supervising special agent to go grab some extra drives from the cyber division 3 floors up.

Dom didn’t protest, the break was technically more work but having to write once more of a moles sudden and unsurprising suicide upon capture was starting to wear thin, on both her conscience and mental state.

Cyber command had been drastically reduced ever since Whiterose’s death as the immediate threat seemed to have disappeared despite the ignorance of assuming the Dark army would slump away defeated and powerless. 

She was not four feet through the overly heavy glass doors before she saw her.

At first, Dom felt she was having another misplaced daydream as the person in front of her, while certainly having an unmistakable face, confused her with the remainder of the attire.

Gone was the quite literal thrift store coat and ripped leggings, no more combat boots but much more tactical and sleek black ones. From first glance, she could look like any other bureau agent but the untucked white shirt and half off tie began to erode the illusion.

She almost couldn’t quite believe it was her until she saw the heart-shaped glasses poking out of a back pocket. Almost taunting her as a reminder of how easily she had stolen Dom’s own heart, but that was far too sentimental for her to say out loud let alone think.

She once again barely got a few steps forward before Dom’s eyes met hers, the realization hadn’t quite come across Darlene’s face until a few moments later but Dom could see it happen. It shifted from confusion to surprise, with hope then shifting into pain and remorse as both felt like so much had been lost in what felt like an eternity. 

Both hesitated in stepping forward but when they did their respective worlds once again took over, with separate but just as equally shittily timed agents coming to interfere and not just demand their attention but drag them away from each other again.

Janet handed Dom the drives and launched into a tirade of small talk and technical jargon all in one go. Dom would have ignored this at the best of times but now it was piercing, like a drill it stuck into her head attempting to override her thoughts and god knows how many feelings that were running through it right now as she tried to process seeing Darlene once more.

By the time she had reassured and pushed Janet off with a promise to return the drives asap the view down the corridor had returned to the monotony and disappointment it always had delivered.

Even with a hurried look around the offices and meeting rooms, Darlene was nowhere to be seen, Janet had no idea who she meant when questioned and it had all left Dom dejected and once again alone.

She had delivered the drives to her supervisor and promptly searched the database for any information on Darlene. Ever since the airport, ever since she last held her she had felt emptier, colder. 

She had no contact since, a year and no calls or texts. No shitty emails, no pings on the database and no links to the Whiterose case as Darlene was declassified as a non-integral asset and effectively removed from the thought process.

Just as she had left Dom found nothing on Darlene, no new information, no appearances and no bureau contact.  
From the moment Dom saw her she questioned if she truly had, no employee records seemed to confirm that, and the dour mood only worsened as she began to accept this reality.  
\----------- 

Her shift had another 4 hours left but Dom was owed more sick pay and holidays than most get in their lives. So, she did what all responsible and hardworking FBI agents did.

She went to get so agressively drunk that even Darlene would be impressed.

The 3rd drink in 30 minutes made that very fact dawn on her, that even getting drunk reminded her of Darlene. The bar didn’t help.

The same dive she visited now was where Darlene and she had met numerous times, and the one time it has led to more than just work. To more than just an obligation.

But that thought was quickly shook off as she downed her drink once more and ordered two more, she knew she would be here for a while and getting ahead on the drinks order could help alleviate talking to others more.

After ordering she was confused to hear they had already been paid for before she shrugged it off and went to the bathroom. The best she could rationalize was that she gave a decent amount of cash upon coming in and the bartender could tell that it was gonna be that kind of night and rolled with it.

The bathroom took 2 minutes to even get to with the crowd blocking it all off, she was glad she got a seat at the bar but by the time she was done she was resigned to the fact it was likely long gone.  
The day as a whole felt wrong, she felt as if she was simply floating through it after what she saw, no, what she thought she saw got to her. The alcohol was by no means helping but by now she truly didn’t care and was committed, it can’t get much worse was a motto that had been proven wrong many times, but she chose to ignore that. Again.

The drinks and her seat remained ready for her return, a nice gesture from the universe to give her this little thing after the fucking her brain had delivered but she wasn’t willing to argue.  
Barely on the seat, she felt her arm brush against the jacketed customer that was sitting very close to her head down into their drink.

“In this city full of shitty dive bars, you chose this one?”, the woman paused downing her drink in one, more aptly downing one of Dom’s drinks in one, “Dominique you really are that sentimental huh?”

The swagger could be felt in that last comment as the half-cocked smirk overtook her face, the woman turned to fully face Dom with the smirk turned to most assuredly a blushing smile and pushed down the heart shaped glasses to reveal the top of her eyes.

“So, how was Budapest hon.”


	2. That Familiar Flame

While the reality for Dom had had painfully and quickly changed over the last two years, the current situation somehow seemed even more implausible than surviving a knife-wielding and extremely patronizing taxidermist with a grudge.

If she was being honest with herself, however, the implausible seemingly became the norm since the aforementioned taxidermist entered her life, and left lung painfully but briefly. 

Still, the woman who had just as quickly entered as she had exited her life sat across from her once more. The heart-eyed glasses hung just enough to show the gorgeous green eyes that she often hid away from the world, the neon of the bar sign reflecting off them to make them dazzle for Dominique even more than normal. 

The staring would be bad enough, but the realization dawned on Dom that she not only hadn’t given an adequate reply to Darlene’s question, even if a somewhat mocking one, but she had simply sat in disbelief.

“It was great? Life-changing and I wish you could have been there? I am not sure what you expect me to say here outside of where the hell have you been?” the pain Dom had inside was rapidly overtaking any returning affection that she had for the hacker.

Taken aback, Darlene removed her glasses fully with the smirk vanishing from her face, being replaced by a much more somber and matter of fact look.

“Look, I’m sorry. No ifs and or buts, I’m just sorry but I needed to know and prove to myself I could not fucking implode the second someone I care about wasn’t there 24/7.”

Whether it was the alcohol beginning to blur away or the simple and no-bullshit approach Darlene had given her Dom was frankly stunned once more, a habit that Darlene seemed to have with her. Even more so Darlene had admitted she cared for Dom that much, and the already wildly dazed agent was unsure how to process such info.

Reaching for the remaining drink on the bar side she downed it in one, the barely mixed vodka sizzled at the back of her throat but god she needed that distraction and wakeup call right now if she was ever going to get through this night, or even this conversation. 

“While I appreciate the apology, one of the few sincere ones especially, it’s been a year and I have heard nothing from you, and not only do you show up here but suddenly you decide to become a suit and tie fed after all?!” Dom really didn’t feel like being angry but the months lacking connections or any sign of life at all was going to come out one way or another.

While Dom expected this to result in some outbursts and retaliation from Darlene she seemed unusually calm and collected, ordering another two drinks before taking quarter glass drink and sighing.  
“Honestly, it’s not that long of a story,” Darlene paused seeing the impatient Dom raise an eyebrow, “Ok it’s a mess of one but still, not too long.”

\-------------------

Darlene had not so confidently, or proudly, left the bathroom after flight 4057 had fully departed from the airport and there was no last-minute temptation to get her on that plane; if she knew Dom was on it she was pretty confident nothing would have stopped her.

Old habits almost returned for her but the news of Elliot and the Whiterose plant kept her straight and narrow for his sake and she had stayed with him in New York for the next 4 months as he recovered and saw Krista further.

Darlene gave no discernible answer to Leon’s last question of if she kept any money from the Whiterose hack, the tens of thousands from E-corp they had gathered over the last two years certainly remained with her.

Once Elliot was clearly on the path to recovering properly, and with no more nuclear meltdowns to prevent, Darlene had gotten herself a place in midtown New York, nothing fancy but with walls at least 3 shades of grey lighter than the depressing hell hole Elliot had been in for years.

The offer from Leon rung in her head as she spent close to two months hovering over his number, ready to dial at a moment's notice and dive back into the world she so readily thrived in.

Yet, it was that very world that had almost gotten her killed so many times that some started to blur together, with one gun to the head feeling eerily similar in memory and texture to the last. Besides, Dom’s words that she could do some good remained, in fact, any words from Dom in that airport stuck in her head link a freshly made nail.

She didn’t need the money; she never did but no more than ever. The Dark army still existed and while they had no real interest in her by entering into that world once more she would inevitably be connected to the group that caused her so much harm, and nearly lost her everything.

“You know what finally got me to go into the FBI after all your preaching and moral high horse, literally you; I saw you go into work one of the days I was being an indecisive bitch about joining,” Darlene couldn’t help but try and hide the blush at those words as Dom similarly tried to hide a proud little smile knowing that she had that effect on her in return.

Darlene had since been with the bureau 3 months and found that she suited the work far more than she ever thought possible. She had no trouble managing the work with the most challenging stuff surprisingly not even touching on hacking the world's most elite and richest and under 10 minutes.

As evident from their first reunion, as Darlene was quick to explain, her and the uniform policy didn’t so much as see eye to eye as they did fight each other with the policy losing more ground as the weeks went by. The start did include a fully uniformed Darlene which Dom quite visibly shifted forward hearing, and imagining such a look. 

While the bureau was pretty lax with agents who are almost entirely internal working Darlene made an effort to push their gratitude at her work to the limits whenever she could. She may be the fed she once hated no she by no means was going to stop putting her own personal “fuck you” mark on it.  
\-----------------

Dom had to admit, it was relatively short story if still seeming somewhat unbelievable to her, truly she didn’t want to argue it as there was a much more pressing and hurting concern on her mind.

“If I really am what convinced you to come back…” Dom paused clearly trying to calm herself, “then why didn’t you call, or text, hell goddamn stick your head around the office to let me know you were even alive?”

The pain in her voice had become evident to Darlene, who after seeming quite pleased with her dramatic storytelling prowess was instead struck with remorse that Dom could read on her face as well as on her conscience.

To say there was a pregnant pause is understating it, this pause felt like the damn full 9 months as both waited for someone to say something, anything.

Darlene was the one to shatter the silence to what amounted to both their surprises as the alcohol apparently removed her brains reluctance and simply blurted out what came into her head first, “I didn’t want to let you down again, even after starting here and doing fucking damn better than anyone here I’m terrified it’s all gonna fall apart again”

Darlene’s lips and hands shook subtly, but enough for Dom who was hanging on every word to notice before Darlene continued; “I know I fucked you over so much and I tried to make up for it, but I don’t want to put you through it again…I don’t want you to have to go through me again”

Dom felt the utter sadness in the words, the bitterness Darlene held towards herself even after all she had been through and done to help the world she still didn’t see how important she was, to Dom most of all.

Dom couldn’t even respond as Darlene was up, muttering apologies and on her way to the door, jacket barely on and glasses of course immediately covering her eyes. The glasses attempted to hide the tears that started to cover her eyes and fall out, another way to hide the pain and create the cold-hearted persona she outwardly portrayed so often.

Dom hesitated, maybe Darlene was right. The last time she had ran off towards her in hopes of happiness she found herself alone once more, on a flight to somewhere she never had any interest in going with what equates to airport smut in hardback form for her only company.

Despite all this, she lingered on the words between them, that they were both truly happy last time they sat at this bar and laughed and got closer than she ever had with someone else.  
Paralyzed whether out of intoxication, fear or indecisiveness the echoes of Run Away with Me hummed from a passing car as the noise was caught on the wind, drifting into the bar and over Dom as the door began to shut with Darlene going alongside it.  
\----------------  
Darlene’s hand rummaged in her pockets looking for a smoke as she desperately looked at anything and everything around her, trying and failing to find a distraction to stop the tears from escaping her eyes and down her cheeks.

Her apartment was not far away from the office and accompanying bar a few blocks over but being she barely made it a minute down the street before she heard the running and her name screamed behind her.

Jolted out of her despair her head did a far too fast and almost painful twist around to see Dom running at her faster than she knew she could move, before even uttering a word Dom crashed into her almost headfirst with her arms wrapping around the stunned hacker and holding on like a vice, unwilling to let go.

For a moment Darlene didn’t think it was real, her hands hesitantly wrapping around Dom in return, but she was real, and she didn’t want to let go.

Dom’s head eventually emerged from the hacker’s shoulder for air, clearly out of breath from sprinting when not prepared and incredibly sleep-deprived. She took an almost comically exasperated deep breath and expecting while she saw confusion in Darlene’s eyes she saw a smile widen across her face as she realized what was happening.

Dom had let Darlene get away from her one too many times and refused to let it happen again, even if she didn’t feel she deserved it she didn’t care. She wanted her.

Paying her back for last time Dom surged forward kissing Darlene and was met not by resistance but a surprising hum before Darlene’s eyes closed and she leaned into it.

It had been a long year, even longer without one another’s company despite all their past misgivings. But they were with each other again and neither wanted anything else right now more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I had to get that Carly Rae song in somewhere and decided to put it into the most angst-filled scenario possible, no Esmail last min trick this time


	3. When the lights go out, run away with me

They stumble back to Dom’s apartment was a blur much like the rest of this night as it progressed onwards, a warm and ever increasingly comforting one, but a blur none the same.

The stumble turned into an almost faceplanting fall as they tumbled through the door to her small apartment, with Dom catching Darlene and forcing her against the door shutting it and getting a surprised hum out of the smitten hacker.

Darlene’s response was to run her hands through the fiery mess of hair in front of her, windswept to hell and still dripping from the rain but she could never care less as it allowed her to grab onto the woman in front of her, and pull her closer than she thought possible.

The pair's lips were an equally fiery mess as Darlene awkwardly moved them towards the bed and tried stepping out of her boots one foot and near fall at a time. Dom did much the same with her eyes shooting wide awake as her heel caught the front of the bed and both went down onto it.

To say it was a fall lacking grace would not be understating it, with the small yelps only overtaken by laughter as both attempted to remove their respective hair from covering all of their faces.

Darlene had ended up on top of the rapidly flustering FBI agent who instinctively bit her lip at the sight of Darlene doing so simple as stretching out and tying her hair back.

Darlene, of course, did this for practicalities sake but as she leaned back down to kiss the girl below her with the smirk crossing her face it betrayed the fact that she knew how great she looked, and she was certainly going to flaunt it, especially from the reaction it garnered.

Dom was certainly lost in the moment with Darlene’s hands getting equally lost on her body as she not so gently removed her shirt and began to kiss every inch of her, with Dom’s mind falling into bliss until a kiss landed on a familiar scar for both of them and Dom’s flinch went from one of pleasure to pain.

Darlene noticed this almost before Dom had and sat up immediately, scared of messing up and even more terrified of hurting Dom further. She waited for any sign of what to do but time slowed to a crawl and the panic and fear took over Darlene once more.

After months away from that place, that hole in her head she was dragged back down there left breathless and scared all over again.

\---------

Dom was quite unsure how everything was folding out as it had gone from her dreams to her often to real and recurring nightmares in a matter of moments. The pain on the scar was certainly unpleasant but one she was used to.

While the scar had healed as best it could it still felt fresh, raw and tingling at the lightest touch it would often drag her to being on that floor once more, knife firmly in her chest and death being seemingly an inevitability.

Whether it was the world's shittiest blessing or world's best curse that her concern for Darlene took over would be a fact she could decide later, right now her mind was solely focused on the girl stumbling over the apartment clinging to the wall for leverage.

The agent rolled off her bed, barely catching her footing as the alcohol and general emotional intoxication did its best to hinder her efforts to comfort the crumbling woman in front of her.

She had been in this spot before, she had panicked and screamed and felt like it was all coming down around her just as Darlene had so she knew how lost and lonely it could all feel, that this darkness could seemingly emerge from even the brightest moment to cloud and overtake you.

Dom braced Darlene onto herself and held onto the clearly shaking and petrified girl as she slowly walked her to the bed, reassuring her all the way and promising that she was ok, that they both were ok.

“I’m sorry I know I fucked up again I didn’t think, I know I don’t think ever but I'm sorry” the words crashed out of Darlene’s mouth without any filter or remorse as she shifted the blame onto herself.

The blame was not just for the small tinge of pain but for all that led to it, the dark army, the lies, the danger, almost losing her and vice versa time and time again. Darlene put all the blame onto herself as she knew no other way.

“You didn’t fuck up and none of this is your fault, Darlene, you are the reason I’m still here, the reason I got this scar was because I knew I wanted to get you out of that room alive no matter what,” Dom hesitated at being so honest but she was shaking equally as much and knew there was no pretense or time for bullshitting around the point.

“Surprisingly I don’t blame you for the knife wound if anything the one I blame kinda got that paid back with that one shot but that’s beside the point.” The humor elicited a small break in the tears, but the shaking remained and she could tell Darlene would fall back into it once more.

“I know you have put up with so much shit on your own for years, I know you blame yourself for people being hurt but it's not on you, I’m happier because of you, I’m better off than I have been in months from just seeing you,” Dom now joined with the tears, unsure if it was sadness at admitting it or if it was simply that hard to be truthful nowadays.

The message seemed to get through somewhat as Darlene turned to look at the one holding her so tightly, the one keeping her in place rather than falling away once more, “I don’t want to be this pain for you, I know you don’t think I am but its always ended in pain in one way or another if this moment aint proving that then I don’t know what will”

Dom had caught her breath on that last sentence, it hurt her to see Darlene treat herself this way, she knew how wonderful she was not just in general but for her.

“Life does just fucking hurt though, not to copy off your book too much but yeah life can suck ass and has for us for years but that doesn’t mean it won't get better, fucks sake it cant if we don’t try, for either of us,” Dom tried to keep her voice lowered not to scare or worry Darlene more and had hoped the hands grasping hers added some reassurance.

It seemed to have worked somewhat as Darlene leaned back into her and they sprawled against the pillows, the smaller hacker resting on Dom’s chest, with the agent’s hands resting on her hair gently tracing shapes through it.

“I know you must be pretty proud of that impromptu speech, but I don’t think you really thought through the appeal of someone who can end up like this after a bad kiss,” Darlene was finding humor in the situation so at least that was a way out.

“Surprisingly hon, getting stabbed, kidnapped, shot at and watching a boss get quite literally axed from his job also has left a few literal and metaphorical scars, ain't got the monopoly on panic attacks,” Dom realized that could seem quite blunt and perhaps a tad patronizing but the resulting scoffed chuckle reassured her of some success.

“You really serious about things getting better for us, like…as in us together?” Darlene could feel just how much it hurt to ask that, waiting for the gradual let down or the disappointing but realistic no to hit her.

Yet, it never came. Instead, she looked up to see a warm and sincere smile from the woman that had seemed closest to be the one she could just be herself with, whether it was a mess or at her best, it just felt right.

The two didn’t say much more or move much more that night, instead they lay on the bed just holding one another, feeling safe that both knew how much the other had been through and that neither of them wanted to go anywhere.

It was seeming like any drunk hook-up between the two led to pain but this time it had ended with comfort, safety and only the beginnings of a mental shutdown.

The glow of the sunrise rolled over the New York skyline and through the crack in Dom’s blinds, it illuminated barely half the appointment but showered the pair in a glow befitting a bad romance novel ending.

At this point, the pair had gotten used to the annoying clichés appearing in their lives and rolled with it, with both of them resting in the arms of the other they were simply happy, and while it certainly would fluctuate like this night they didn’t care.

The two would take what they could get, both knew how shit it could get and were happy to just have each other through it, whether it would go or end they could now rely on that, and maybe that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was unsure where I was gonna go with this fic but I am more than ok with a simpler if cheesy ending, yes there is most certainly some personal projection onto this but Darlene has been far too relatable for years and its why I love her so much and why i loved writing this so much <3


End file.
